ABC of Expectations – Master the Art of Choice

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Welcome Explorers of Curiosity – to this week’s dive into the ABC of Expectations. These things that we carry around with us, called expectations, can often feel pretty darned heavy.

What I have dug into with my curiosity claws, is not what these expectations are, or whether or not they have been met or not, but what actually lies under neath this often-heavy feeling … realizing that there is an ocean of emotions just waiting to be navigated.

This week, we explore observing, managing and understanding these expectations, which helps us to understand why we can got so overwhelmed by them!

Let’s learn to ride the waves of thoughts that we have, mastering the art of choice in and amongst the tens of thousands of thoughts that we have each day.

Awareness in the context of expectations involves recognizing the sources and impacts of these pressures – pressures which we may think come from the outside, but really … it’s all an inside job!

What I’ve found to be truly the first step in cutting the cord to potential resentment … is to understand where our expectations are coming from. Simply by being curious as to the reason for any emotional discomfort – by asking ourselves does this come from an expectation?

When we’re clear on that, then we can dive into what kind of expectation we’re dealing with. It is an expectation born from our cultural norms, societal roles, family obligations, social media interactions, interpersonal demands, our belief system or self-imposed standards, conscious or not.

By becoming aware of these influences, we can begin to understand the emotional responses that they trigger – such as stress, anxiety, guilt, defiance, resistance, resentment or even anger. Then we get to see how these specific emotions affect our behavior and decision-making processes.

Either way, you can see here how expectations can shape our thoughts, feelings and actions in a profound way.

ASK YOURSELF: When was the last time I allowed my expectations to create negative thoughts, feelings or actions?

It really is all about choice, everything in our lives, and expectations is not getting off the hook on this one. Our beliefs about expectations can either empower us or lead us to feel less than, or disempowered.

If we believe that we must meet all expectations to be valued or successful, we may find ourselves perpetually stressed out, anxious, exhausted or defeated. It’s crucial once we have become aware of the pattern, that we look at our beliefs and challenge them! This is where we get to create new beliefs that honour our health, well-being and our authenticity.

Embracing the belief that it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize our needs redefines our relationship with expectations, allowing us to engage with them on our terms. And this is extremely useful in terms of claiming our personal power!

ASK YOURSELF: What are my beliefs around expectations?

Handling expectations with courage means that we get to choose to take proactive steps that align our actions with our true self … rather than passively trying to fit into other people’s molds of who they think we should be (ie. those external demands).

This involves having the courage to say no, to set limits, and to advocate for oneself even when it might disappoint others. And gosh darn, this can be really hard for a people pleaser who strives to gain approval. It’s about having the courage to face potential judgment or rejection while staying true to our values and desires.

TELL YOURSELF: I’d rather accept myself for who I am, rather than worry about what will happen if others judge or reject me.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF:

This week, identify one expectation that has been weighing heavily on you – be it from your family, your job, your friends, or even a personal goal that keeps hanging around that no longer serves you. Challenge yourself to address this expectation head-on: communicate your needs, set a boundary, or perhaps let go of an outdated standard. Observe how taking this step affects your emotional state and self-perception. Have fun and play with this!!

As we finish up here, on our journey in the ABC of Expectations, let’s remember:

Cultivate AWARENESS of where expectations are coming from and how they are affecting you.
Challenge your BELIEFS about needing to meet every expectation and empower yourself to prioritize your own well-being.
Embrace the COURAGE to redefine your relationship with expectations, making choices that reflect your true identity.